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The Gas Station Arts Centre

445 River Avenue
Winnipeg, MB R3L 0C3
(204) 284-9477
info@winnipegcomedyfestival.com

I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know Y.

I told my computer I needed a break, now it won't stop sending me vacation ads.

I'm on a whiskey diet - I've lost 3 days already.

90% of bald people still own a comb. They just can't part with it.

My kids put together a PowerPoint presentation explaining why we should go to the water park... It has several slides.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsssh.

I'm terrified of elevators, so I'm taking steps to avoid them.

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high - she look surprised.

I'm reading a book on anti-gravity - it's impossible to put down.

Why did the bicycle fall over? It was too tired.

I'd tell you a construction joke, but I'm still working on it.

I'm friends with electricians - we have good current connections.

I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.